To the dudes on the bus who feel the need to spread their legs like they have nuts the size of Jupiter: fuck you. I'm sick and tired of having to hang halfway off the seat into the aisle or get smushed against the window cause I don't wanna rub thighs with a total stranger. And I'm a small person—it's not like I'm 300 pounds and need all the space I can get. You should be charged 1.5 times the fare if you're going to take up half of my seat too, asshole. Your balls won't fall off if you don't air them out for the whole bus ride. Close your fucking legs. —Falling into the Aisle