Ok, I'm to blame, walked in "eyes wide open", and I do bitch at myself. I fell in love with a junkie. She is really an amazing person...on one level. It's the other levels, baby. I want to help, which turns out to be romantic BS where this level of addiction is concerned, but still my heart beats for you. Damn you heart!

But what has drawn this particular bitch (insight), is the death of your father. It obviously affected you deeply, I was there to be the proverbial shoulder to cry on, in spite of the mistrust of men in "vulnerable moments". Willing to be misinterpreted. And I also happen to be in possession of a herbal alternative to methadone. Yes there is not only an alternative, but it is herbal, legal, cheap and effective. Has been used for centuries to give relief to opium addicts. It's called Kratom. Legal in Canada, but not readily available in Halifax. Had to mail order. Bottom line is, you didn't need to use on that day, which you in fact used as an excuse to use more. You declared "feelings" for me the day before, then when needed the next day, I was in the other room. I wanted to help, offered my time, my resources (Kratom) and what I could of my love. I hate to say it, but all I saw was your true colours. Heartless, and in the grip of an addiction that will kill you. I'd love for you to call and say "I get it" regardless of any blocks...but doubt it will ever happen. And that is my biggest bitch! —Fantastic Plastic Lover