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Thursday, April 12, 2012

To the duck assassin

Posted on Thu, Apr 12, 2012 at 10:51 AM

What the fuck is going on here? Yeah, I'm referring to the nimrod who seems to think it is a good idea to dump literally bags and bags of bread and hamburger buns in the public parks for the birds. Thanks for ruining Victoria Park for a week, asshole. Just what a person hoping to enjoy the park on a sunny afternoon needs: A thousand aggressive and bickering seagulls and pigeons losing their minds in a voracious feeding frenzy over the 10 bags of hamburger buns you've piled up.

Seriously, it is one thing to toss the pigeons a few bits of your hot dog bun, but you have taken it way to far. In case any reader is unclear, this fucking moron brings boxes of old bread and buns and piles them up in the park. On Monday, there must have been 10-20 full bags of buns, ripped open and piled up in the park. You can imagine the chaos that ensues when a harbour full of seagulls get wind.

And yeah, I SAW YOU a few months ago on my way to work in the early AM. You pulled up in your car, opened the trunk, and proceeded to frantically heave an entire box of bread and buns over the fence into the Public Gardens by the duck pond. I was too shocked to even say anything! And very quickly you rushed back into your car and pealed off as if you KNEW and UNDERSTOOD you were doing something stupid and wrong, but you did it anyways.

What a fucking idiot this guy is! Way to ruin a park, asshole. The gulls, ducks, and pigeons don't need to eat 50 pounds of bread. What are you thinking? —Prefers NOT to Face a Hitchcockian Bird-Gauntlet Walking to Work

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