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Thursday, April 5, 2012

I nearly had a heart attack

Posted on Thu, Apr 5, 2012 at 1:58 PM

Being from Fairview, I generally don't take many trips out of metro, but I decided to buy a last minute dealy to the D.R. I asked my friend "Hollywood" to look after my place, feed the dog, etc...

Well, the vacation was a piece of shit, bad hotel, bad weather, old lady had pms, I was happy to get home. Late flight, got home at around 3am. Opened the door and we were greeted by the smell of trout, dirty dishes everywhere, plus there was a condom on one of the plates. I was some pissed. I went into the living room and found a bunch more beer cans everywhere, with empty hungry-man trays all over the place, with a trail of garbage leading to my bedroom door. I was just about ready to explode. I opened the door and there you were, in my bed, all covered up, beer cans and garbage everywhere. "Hey you piece of shit. I thought you got over your booze problem." No response. I went over the bed to give him a slap. That's when I noticed the Jason Vorhees mask under the covers and screamed. Then you burst out of the closet wearing that hollowed out melon on your head and I screamed louder. You got it all on tape, didn't you? If I see that on youtube, the "high school tapes" get taken out of storage, get me? You wouldn't like that, would you jerky? —Screamed Like a Little Girl

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