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Monday, March 12, 2012

Shave it, don't save it

Posted on Mon, Mar 12, 2012 at 4:56 PM

You used to trim. Then after we had kids, you sort of just stopped. For Christmas, I bought you a body shaver, thinking that would get the hint across. It's didn't. You didn't even try it. My complaining about having to use a lint roller on the bed sheets each morning didn't evoke any stimulation in your brain either. The kids even say "Daddy's hair comes out like Casey's" (our cat). Finding your pubic, pit, chest, and back hair embedded into the soap bar causes my gag reflex to twitch. Not to mention what the screen on the shower drain catches... it's like a toupee growing on it. When you trimmed, you looked more attractive, and the sex was more enjoyable. Now it's like I'm mounting a grizzly bear... and I hate it. You wear polo shirts everyday and with all the hair creeping out of the collar, it looks like you're the wolf man or wearing some freaky animal scarf. Please, please, please, for the love of all trimmers out there, trim that mess.

P.S. It'll make your penis look bigger too... instead of being buried like it's hiding in a thorn bush. And I don't need your pubic hair as floss. —Hair Today, Hopefully Gone Tomorrow

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