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Monday, February 13, 2012

How to ride a bicycle

Posted on Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 12:03 PM

Do it in the road. Nobody expects you to operate a vehicle on the sidewalk and doing unexpected things is not only a violation of road etiquette and common sense, but in this case it's illegal. You may feel safer but here's the real trick: you're a moron. Nobody is going to hit you if you ride on the road and stake out a space. Don't slink off to the side, get out there in the lane where everyone can see you, and don't worry about holding up traffic - as a cyclist, your attitude should be "fuck traffic." Otherwise, when you're standing on the sidewalk waiting for the ambulance because some thoughtless little 3-year old dashed out from nowhere and you ran her down and cracked her skull wide open, remember that I told you so, you fucking idiot.

P.S. When I run reds it's because I'm not operating a hurtling 2500lb death machine - I have the situational awareness to do it safely because I'm not a fat, diabetic cager rolling to an early grave. Disagree? Fuck you. —Abe

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