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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Human ownership

Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2012 at 9:57 AM

There is a fundamental problem with human relationships. It seems that when we love something, we want to own it in some way. Love your partner? Don't let them love anyone else. Love your kid? Don't let them make mistakes. Love your pet? Cloister it inside all day so no harm will come to it. I think our hearts are in the right place. But a zen master once said "This kind of love makes you want to own. And the desire to own will make you capable of murder"

What ever happened to the idea that we love without attachment? That you can love someone and be willing to let them go? That you can love your kids and trust that they'll do the right thing without you winding them in yards of bubble wrap?

I choose to be single. I also choose to be celibate. These are difficult but the other option is emotional slavery with moments of guilt-ridden freedom and that is unacceptable.

Ideas of STDs and careless caregiving aside (because we DO need to be cautious - the world of men is a dangerous place after all) why must we continue to feel it NECESSARY to box each other in? Why do we feel jealous and betrayed when our lover loves someone else? What's up with that? It's nature! It's like feeling betrayed because summer gives way to fall.

Don't get me wrong... I feel the same way which is why I have chosen to avoid this part of life until I can understand why I respond like this.

Why do we do this to each other? Why can't we all just get along? Why do we assume that if someone we love loves someone else that we have lost them? Drop this attitude and you won't lose anyone. —Bonobo

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