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Monday, January 9, 2012

Your dual flush toilet sucks

Posted on Mon, Jan 9, 2012 at 10:05 AM

I'm all for saving the environment and reducing our water consumption but those dual flush toilets suck. Why are these toilets so high? I don't feel like trying to take a shit on a high stool. Oh, did I say take a shit? No. That's the problem. The angle and height of how one sits on a toilet affects bowel movements. Google it.

I'm 23. I drink a lot of water, and I have my recommended daily fibre intake, so don't get me started on that. But every time I have to encounter those dual flush toilets for an extended period of time I can't seem to take a shit.

Mom and Dad, if you're wondering why I refuse to stay longer than 3 nights when I come to visit, it's because I really don't feel like holding onto toxic waste, holding onto an extra 10 lbs of shit, and feeling cramped up, bloated, and fat. Oh and even though this is posted in the love to bitch section, I am actually sending a lot of love to my regular flush toilet (which IS low flush despite the fact it's not DUAL flush so fuck off). And now I shall take a crap and wipe with my thick SOFT toilet paper. I don't care if it's not fucking eco-friendly labelled. At least I don't have to pull half the roll and deal with a rash. —Love to Read Comics While on the Shitter, Not Detailed Stories About the Shitty American Economy

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