Love the Way We Bitch

Archives | RSS

Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

Submit a Bitch

Pin It

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Grocery Apocalypse

Posted on Mon, Nov 14, 2011 at 12:39 PM

Harking back to the days of Paul Tournal's anté-historique, we feel that the hunter gatherers of that time would well represent the emotional aspects of these modern decrepit, ill planned, consumers. Whatever did we do before tweets, and status updates to bring awareness of oncoming horrendously unexpected, catastrophic closures of retail indulgence. Oh how the panic starts when the news breaks that whatever deity you worship has forsaken you the ability to buy cheese puffs twenty four hours a day, and seven days a week. And then, you finally realize the life saving quality of those corn-meal enriched, unique artificially cheese flavoured, air-blown puffs of delight right when you can't have them. Like a toddler wanting candy, there is no planning or rationale as to how to acquire said trivialities during pre or post closure except to have a temper tantrum of epic proportions. As if life were so completely engulfed by activities more pressing than acquiring sustenance, people then become enraged in unjustified shopping hysteria. Calendars are obviously not a tool well understood and implemented in the general body of society. Back in the day it seemed as though we might have had on a regular basis, one less opportunity per week to fulfill this panic inducing struggle to survive. Maybe someday our grandchildren will live in a world where they will never feel deprived of their cheese puffs for even a fraction of a millisecond. —Caesar and Cleopatra

Support The Coast

At a time when the city needs local coverage more than ever, we’re asking for your help to support independent journalism. We are committed as always to providing free access to readers, particularly as we confront the impact of COVID-19 in Halifax and beyond.

Read more about the work we do here, or consider making a donation. Thank you for your support!

Survey Asks

Should there be a public inquiry about what happened at Northwood?

  • Yes
  • No
  • The review was enough

View Results

Latest in Love the Way We Bitch

Comments (18)

Showing 1-18 of 18

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-18 of 18

Add a comment

Remember, it's entirely possible to disagree without spiralling into a thread of negativity and personal attacks. We have the right to remove (and you have the right to report) any comments that go against our policy.

Real Time Web Analytics

© 2021 Coast Publishing Ltd.