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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Where's Jane Goodall when you need her?

Posted on Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 4:00 AM

I had the distinct impression over the weekend that Planet of the Apes was right on Coburg Road keeping me awake. Imagine when I found out that rather than chimps acting out their aggressions, it was students or quite possibly teenagers. Drunk ones. And the drunker they got the more apeish they became.

I'm no expert but I've seen nature programs and it sounded exactly the same. I thought the other week when they started calling the police would allow me some sleep, but after several warnings by them and repeated calls on my part, I was still awake at 2am regretting never having called Animal Control. This weekend I had shut my window hoping my neighbours would want this to stop, but as usual they were apathetic and all shutting the window did was prevent me from breathing.

So now I'm just waiting for it to happen again. And when it does, mark my words, I will report you for the illegal posession of a large number of apes and chimps and for not housing them appropriately. I can't see anyone —it's dark, there's no loud music, it sounds exactly like chimps and so it must be chimps.I mean, all that has to happen is one to bust out of that house and all hell could break loose. Is this what you want southenders? A zoo right next door, keeping you awake when all you want is a few hours of sleep before you have to get up for work? And you thought Planet of the Apes was just a movie. —Lackofsleepmakesmedocrazythings

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