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Friday, July 8, 2011

Hypothetical Ridiculousness

Posted on Fri, Jul 8, 2011 at 11:53 AM

You're walking down the sidewalk. You approach Leonard, who is walking a skunk on a leash. You stop and tell Leonard "I don't want to walk through your skunk's cloud of stink." He responds with "I'm addicted to walking skunks. I can't help it, you insensitive asshole." You're forced to suck in skunk stink so as not to seem like the jerk in this situation.

Further along, there's Bernie pushing a grocery cart of dirty diapers. You tell Bernie "I don't want to walk through your diapers' cloud of stink." He answers with "It's legal for me to do this here. Cross the street if you don't like it, diaper Nazi." The nearest crosswalk is 2 blocks back the other way, and you're already late. You attempt to scooch past the grocery cart with your mouth closed and your nose plugged, with the desperate hope that you won't have to choke down the horrible smell.

You arrive for work with an itchy, burning sensation in your nostrils, possibly even an asthmatic wheezing, and a lingering scent on your clothing,

I think we can all (and I do mean all of us) agree that we'd be: 1. Shocked that people would choose to do this in a public place you also need to share. 2. Appalled by the lack of respect these stink-factories show for their fellow sidewalk-goers in their response to your reasonable concerns.

And so I arrive to the point of my story. Why aren't Leonard and Bernie (weirdos and jerks) called out on their bullshit excuses for their bullshit habits? Why can Ron and Bill defend their attitudes toward smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk with the same excuses, and many people (like those on this site) will either agree, empathize, or sympathize with them?

This is not an anti-smoking bitch, this is just a bitch about the bullshit excuses people use to justify their smoking. And before you say that the smell of skunks or dirty diapers is much worse than cigarette smoke, think about how many people love broccoli and Brussels sprouts and how many would think they could gag a troll. —Allumeur

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