So, I moved into your neighbourhood 5 years ago, and since then you seem to get a lot of amusement out of watching my comings and goings. Do you think I don't notice your pathetic attempts at engaging me by coming out of your house every morning at 8:45 am just as I am preparing to leave for work? Have you noticed that I do not speak to you any more? I avoid all eye contact, because frankly, you are totally creepy. You and your old buddies get an obvious kick out of watching me and my yard, pretty single mother of 2, what a chuckle. Yes, my lawn may grow a little longer than yours, but I have 2 kids to raise and an important job to work at and serve my community, and I have far more important things on my mind than how long my grass is. If I was a bored, old, retired, unsatisfied, sexually repressed grumpy man, then I might have more time to anally obsess about and dote on my yard. But, alas, I have a life, which you seem to want to absorb and make a piece of your own so you can have a laugh with the old boys. You are gross, and I will never engage with you ever, so backing up your car a few inches each morning and gazing at me with your beseeching eyes simply makes me want to run the other way. How about trying to be a gentleman, have some couth and decorum. You are an embarrassment to MY neighbourhood. —Your Neighbour, Not Your Friend