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Monday, December 20, 2010

Road Rules for Dummies

Posted on Mon, Dec 20, 2010 at 11:02 AM

Oh my fucking gawd. How is it that winter manages to sneak up on so many of you? So much so that the snow must freeze what's left of your brain cells as you get behind the wheel.

1. CLEAN THE SNOW OFF YOUR FUCKING CAR!!! Switching on your wipers and rolling down your driver's side window is NOT ENOUGH!! a) The car you aren't able to see could be the one you're about to hit or about to hit you. And chances are it will contain someone's loved one. So smarten the fuck up!! b)The snow on your roof can blow off and impair someone else's vision who could then plow into you. You may be in the right but small consolation if you're also in the hospital. And the insurance company won't offer much sympathy. c) The snow covering your headlights and taillights will not allow other drivers to know what you're about to do. Granted you're probably too oblivious to use your indicators but brake signals are important to see.

2. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!! It's icy. It's slippery. It's surprisingly treacherous. If getting to the mall, work, pub 30 seconds earlier is that important, then leave 30 seconds earlier ya dumb fuck. My safety shouldn't be jeopardized just because you have no time management skills or consideration for other people's lives.

3. LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM!!! Corollary to #2, stopping distances increase exponentially during snowy events. Be aware of this when you slice in front of people when changing lanes (probably without signalling but then we wouldn't be able to see it anyway). Merging on hills can be especially treacherous so give yourself, and others, some MUCH NEEDED SPACE!!! —How Difficult Is It???

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