Dear servers and bartenders:

I'm giving you a warning that when I come into your restaurant or bar, that you won't be getting one red cent from me. Know why? Because tipping is one of the most ridiculous concepts I've ever encountered!

You're doing your job! I'm already paying out the ass for a meal, so why the fuck do I gotta give you people extra? It's waiting on tables, serving food-- it's not fucking rocket science! Anyone can do it.

And to my girlfriend who got mad at me when we were dining out the other night because I told her I wasn't tipping, oh fuck off! You argued that the server deserved a tip because I got her to refill my drink 3 times and gave me a discount because they were out of a certain menu item we wanted... IT'S HER JOB TO SERVE PEOPLE AND GIVE DISCOUNTS WHEN NECESSARY!

Then when you saw me put a line through the tip section of the credit card slip, you pull out 8 bucks out of your purse and hand it to the server! Seriously, 8 bucks? On top of that, you called me cheap and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night! Um, if I was cheap, I wouldn't spend money in a restaurant!

So, yeah, the gist of this bitch is: I don't tip. I don't have to and I won't. You can give the best service ever, I still won't tip. Sorry. —You're getting paid so shut up!