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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

To My Sanctamonious, Condescending Sister-in-Law to Be

Posted on Tue, Aug 17, 2010 at 2:13 PM

I realize you regard my boyfriend as your son, however the way you behave toward me is just plain ridiculous, childish, RUDE, and ignorant. You are literally insane.

Thank you for making my life so difficult on a regular basis. Thank you for constantly forcing me to do favours for you without so much of a hint of appreciation, or even good manners. Thank you for taking complete advantage of the fact that a good relationship between us is SO important for my boyfriend, and potentially future husband, that I cannot tell you off, even though I want to EVERY SINGLE DAY.

The way you take advantage of people is disgusting, and no, acting like a GIANT bitch is not the least bit cute. The thought of spending my life around you makes me clinically depressed. The thought of raising children around you, to have to delicately explain to my husband why I will not let his psycho, morally-corrupt sister baby-sit our children makes me physically ill.

Thank you for making it so incredibly hard to form an honest friendship with you, seemingly on purpose, when you and I know it is an absolute necessity to my boyfriend that we not only do we get along, we become best friends. This should not have been difficult, considering you are only TWO YEARS OLDER THAN ME.

Since you act like such a bitch all the time, however, and not just to me, you have effectively robbed any respect I could ever have for you and therefore, any honest friendship can never form between us because I detest your personality and the fucked up, selfish way you see the world.

I cannot satisfy my boyfriend in that regard, and it's all your fucking fault. He will never feel as though we are one happy family, because you have alienated me completely. You are like hanging out with the bitchiest, rudest grandmother-in-law in the entire universe instead of a normal 31-year old sister-in-law.

Yes, I am seriously dating your brother and one day we will most likely get married and move away, not necessarily in that order. To act like I am stealing your brother from you, and actually voice these concerns (particularly after we have been together for FIVE FUCKING YEARS) is fucking insanity and I refuse to take your opinion at all seriously.

There is no need for me to mention the fact that I have only ever treated your brother with the utmost respect, kindness, and care - you have chosen to ignore this obvious fact for the past five years. Did I mention FIVE YEARS?

Thank you, for making my life so fucking difficult for loving your brother. I hate you. —Exhausted

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