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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Fuck you, sorbitol!

Posted on Sun, Jul 25, 2010 at 8:31 PM

There were two grams of you in those sugar free freezies I ate last night. It's 7:30am and I'm STILL awake because I might as well have eaten a box of ex-lax for supper.

Word to the wise: any sweetener with "ol" at the end should just be labeled "world's greatest laxative," according to 4am-in-between-paying-homage-to-the-porcelain-gods sessions research; "ol" sweeteners are sugar alcohols and can't be absorbed by the body. Kind of like that olestra crap they made "diet" chips with in the 90s that caused anal leakage and stuff. NICE.

I'm kinda sure I won't have to take a dump for at least another week after last night's ordeal. —Exxxxxxxhausteddddd ugh


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