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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Senior Year in Rural Atlantic Canada

Posted on Sun, May 23, 2010 at 8:56 AM

Senior year of high school sucks.

My prom date just informed me that she can no longer go to the prom with me because I don't have a dune buggy. Fucking dune buggies! I hate them more than anything! The whole fucking year it has been the same thing.

I fucking hate fads. They all drive around in the woods and on the beach in their stupid fucking dune buggies all day and night. Even the fucking school supports this shit! They have a club and get a portion of student funds. They convinced the town that it would be okay to have a small convoy of them go down the main street on prom night. My best fuckin' mate even got in on it. He can't understand why I hate the contraptions so much, but all he needs to do is look at how silly he looks! They all dress the same; khaki shorts, horizontal stripped polo shirts, baseball caps with blue tinted sunglasses perched on the bill.

In any other fucking school they would be the losers. In my school, I am. I get called 'problematic' by the teachers because I don't buggy. I get called 'angsty' by the buggy crowd and they think I'm hostile and dangerous. They even have a hand sign they flash that means 'buggies 4 life' or some stupid shit like that.

Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it! My own mother thinks I'm anti-social because I don't join the buggy club. She said she would pay to have Dad's four-wheeler modified to have a roll cage and spongy tires. My own ma?!

Even my older brother is a dune buggy enthusiast from way back. He graduated years ago and still comes home to join the pack every summer during his holiday. His girl sits in the passenger seat of it with a ball cap on, pony tail sticking out the back, chewing gum and raising her hand in the 'buggy 4 life' sign, screaming at the other girls in the other buggies as they circle around before building a mother fucking camp fire and roasting wieners and breaking the fuck out the mother fucking guitar singing old songs from folk artists that would roll over in their fucking grave if they knew the likes of the fucking buggy crowd were butchering their songs.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!—Fucking buggies

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