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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wow, that was annoying

Posted on Thu, Mar 18, 2010 at 4:57 PM

Dear extremely intoxicated girl who showed up at our door in the middle of the night,

Thanks for scaring the absolute wits out of my roommate and I, who assumed you were trying to break into our apartment. Thanks for acting hysterical leading us to believe that something terrible had happened to you, and scaring us yet again. Thanks for passing out in our bathroom and not being able to get into the cab we called for you, and were willing to pay for. Doubtful that cab company will be quick to pick us up in the future.

Thanks for giving us no choice but to call the police to come and get your drunk ass out of our bathroom. Thanks for spewing on our floor, I had honestly missed the rank smell of vodka and pizza mixed with stomach juices. Thanks for wasting the three officers' time who showed up to deal with you and your ridiculousness, it's not like they have better things to deal with. Thanks for being inexcusably bitchy to both them and us when you finally put your pants on and decided to leave.

Just because you "used to live here" and "it's OK" doesn't mean it's OK, because now we live here, and you don't. My roommate and I had both gotten ourselves into some pretty silly situations in our early 20s, but nothing compared to the insanity you unleashed upon us last night. So we missed our runs and school this morning, because you kept us up all night, because you were drunk. Next time we'll leave you out on the porch and let the dragon catch up to you. —In An Unfair State of Sleepiness

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