dear university health clinic,
screw you for scolding me for seeking treatment. as a student, i think i should be entitled to your services whether i have a family doctor or not. i needed to be seen today, my doctor couldn't see me, the walk-in clinic couldn't see me, and there's no way i was going to emerg for a sore throat. i took up a whopping five minutes of your time, i hope you don't speak to all of your patients that way.
now for the love portion:
dear pharmacy,
you are always so helpful and kind, you apologize for waits even when there hardly is one and answer all of my questions intelligently and with confidence.
thank you for your continuous, excellent customer service. (handsomeness is helpful too, it's just too bad it seems inappropriate to ask the pharmacist out on a date!)
---down with shitty doctors, long live the helpful pharmacist!