Archives | RSS

Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

Submit a Bitch

Pin It

Monday, January 4, 2010

Another Day In The Life Of Ivan Sonofabitch

Posted on Mon, Jan 4, 2010 at 11:06 AM

To the absentee oligarchs for whom I have toiled these last 7 years, who have decided, in these unprecedented times of boom economics and unlimited growth, to transfer their corrective labor facility even deeper into the wilderness of Burnside Gulag -
To the fat Party bosses and fossilized shit apparatchiks of HRM bureaucracy who blocked, delayed and obfuscated this noble project to ensure that its implementation would occur in the hard heart of January -
And especially, to the heroic People's Commissars of Metro Transit, I fervently wish that the next 5 Year Plan expands your remit beyond the borders of Halifax Peninsula. And I fervently hope that your triumph of Socialist engineering, the High-Speed, High-Technology, Hybrid, Hydrofoil Passenger Ferry "Krasny Oktyabr" sinks in the effluent of that other triumph of Socialist engineering, the famed "Pyotr Kellyovich Sewage Production Plant" And Yes, FUCK YOUR MOTHER, if you even know who she is.
As for me, I will be the nameless zek in the fake fur ushanka, trudging through arctic wastes, dodging mythical snow removal machines and shouting at packs of hungry coyotes "
...fuck your mother"
---Ivan Sonofabitch Maksimumpissedov.

Support The Coast

At a time when the city needs local coverage more than ever, we’re asking for your help to support independent journalism. We are committed as always to providing free access to readers, particularly as we confront the impact of COVID-19 in Halifax and beyond.

Read more about the work we do here, or consider making a donation. Thank you for your support!

Latest in Love the Way We Bitch

Comments (18)

Showing 1-18 of 18

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-18 of 18

Add a comment

Remember, it's entirely possible to disagree without spiralling into a thread of negativity and personal attacks. We have the right to remove (and you have the right to report) any comments that go against our policy.

© 2021 Coast Publishing Ltd.