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Monday, January 4, 2010

Another Day In The Life Of Ivan Sonofabitch

Posted on Mon, Jan 4, 2010 at 11:06 AM

To the absentee oligarchs for whom I have toiled these last 7 years, who have decided, in these unprecedented times of boom economics and unlimited growth, to transfer their corrective labor facility even deeper into the wilderness of Burnside Gulag -
FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
To the fat Party bosses and fossilized shit apparatchiks of HRM bureaucracy who blocked, delayed and obfuscated this noble project to ensure that its implementation would occur in the hard heart of January -
FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
And especially, to the heroic People's Commissars of Metro Transit, I fervently wish that the next 5 Year Plan expands your remit beyond the borders of Halifax Peninsula. And I fervently hope that your triumph of Socialist engineering, the High-Speed, High-Technology, Hybrid, Hydrofoil Passenger Ferry "Krasny Oktyabr" sinks in the effluent of that other triumph of Socialist engineering, the famed "Pyotr Kellyovich Sewage Production Plant" And Yes, FUCK YOUR MOTHER, if you even know who she is.
As for me, I will be the nameless zek in the fake fur ushanka, trudging through arctic wastes, dodging mythical snow removal machines and shouting at packs of hungry coyotes "
...fuck your mother"
---Ivan Sonofabitch Maksimumpissedov.

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