Love the Way We Bitch

Archives | RSS

Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

Submit a Bitch

Saturday, September 19, 2009

GAG

Posted on Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 10:00 PM

To the numb asshole that had a shit explosion all over the public restroom the other day: WTF!!!!

It actually looked like someones bowels had a temper-tantrum and reared out 40 tacos, donair chunks and SALSA JUICE EVERYWHERE. MmmMmMm!! My mouth is watering!! Like a waterfall! Fortunately enough I recoiled just in time to slip on the convenient puddle of shat drippings you left behind.

Lovely Sir/Ma'am, I don't know what lies inside your cavernous bowels, or how much bile your liver makes, or if you illegally eat dogs, but I swear to magladena if this happens again I will personally order my own DNA kit from Overstock.com (better than ebay), gather a sample of your poop at ground zero, *-ahem-* SUMMON MY VOODOO POWERS, and make you constipated for the rest of YO LYFE.

Forgive me, anonymous, if I sound foreboding. Maybe afterwards we can discuss game theory and play Uno, and when you lose I get to keep your cat.

*shiver*

P.S. Coast, No, I do not intend to carry out my plans. Perhaps in my dreams. Please do not call the police.

---Dino

Support The Coast

At a time when the city needs local coverage more than ever, we’re asking for your help to support independent journalism. We are committed as always to providing free access to readers, particularly as we confront the impact of COVID-19 in Halifax and beyond.

Read more about the work we do here, or consider making a donation. Thank you for your support!

Comments (10)

Add a comment

Add a Comment

Get more Halifax

Our Thursday email gets you caught up with The Coast. Sign up and go deep on Halifax.