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Saturday, September 19, 2009

GAG

Posted on Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 10:00 PM

To the numb asshole that had a shit explosion all over the public restroom the other day: WTF!!!!

It actually looked like someones bowels had a temper-tantrum and reared out 40 tacos, donair chunks and SALSA JUICE EVERYWHERE. MmmMmMm!! My mouth is watering!! Like a waterfall! Fortunately enough I recoiled just in time to slip on the convenient puddle of shat drippings you left behind.

Lovely Sir/Ma'am, I don't know what lies inside your cavernous bowels, or how much bile your liver makes, or if you illegally eat dogs, but I swear to magladena if this happens again I will personally order my own DNA kit from Overstock.com (better than ebay), gather a sample of your poop at ground zero, *-ahem-* SUMMON MY VOODOO POWERS, and make you constipated for the rest of YO LYFE.

Forgive me, anonymous, if I sound foreboding. Maybe afterwards we can discuss game theory and play Uno, and when you lose I get to keep your cat.

*shiver*

P.S. Coast, No, I do not intend to carry out my plans. Perhaps in my dreams. Please do not call the police.

---Dino

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