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Monday, August 24, 2009

Movie Theatre Etiquette: A New Rule

Posted on Mon, Aug 24, 2009 at 4:39 PM

I've asked you nicely—many, many times.

I've told you firmly and loudly—many, many times.

Now I've had enough with the asking and telling.

This is the NEW RULE:

When IDIOTS (you know who you are) go to movies clearly intended for GROWN-UPS, and keep checking their phone messages every five minutes—I counted AT LEAST 20 TIMES during the movie on Friday night—and then roll their eyes and make that stupid phlegm noise when I tell them to stop it BECAUSE I JUST PAID TEN BUCKS TO SEE THE MOVIE AND I DON'T NEED YOUR STUPID SCREEN SHINING IN MY EYES THE ENTIRE TIME . . .

. . . I say that after ONE WARNING it is now perfectly acceptable to RIP THAT GODDAMNED PHONE OUT OF YOUR PRISSY LITTLE HAND AND SMASH IT INTO A MILLION PIECES ON THE FLOOR so that I (and everyone else in the place) can—guess what?—enjoy the movie!

Get the message?

---Film Threat

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