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Saturday, August 22, 2009

I feel really lonely and empty

Posted on Sat, Aug 22, 2009 at 11:21 PM

I feel really lonely and empty

I feel really lonely and empty. I have a condition called avoidance personality disorder. Never knew what it was like to be in love....too afraid of rejection and intimacy. I'm 48 now and considering checking out (considering I say not actively planning so please don't send the guys with the straight- jackets)....what the fuck is ther for me in this world anyways? Want to be loved but lack the courage to find it....go looking for it. Did the drinking thing and that didn't help....have a gambling problem now. Like fucking sucks. I have no idea how to handle a realtionship or to start a relationship in a mature way. I know I'm not the only lonely person or the only one with this problem....just feels like I am.

--- running on emptiness

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