For the record, this is NOT another bitch about tips. I'd just like to state some things customers should consider that would help our jobs be less stressful, as well as allow us to give high-quality service to everyone, regardless of how much they do or don't tip:

-> If you have your menus closed and/or staring at me, indicating that you're ready to order, make sure you are ready to order! Don't leave me standing there at your table for 10 minutes while you sit there staring at the menu going 'um, um, I don't really know... a ceasar salad, I think?'. If I ask you if you need more time, don't say NO if you really do (need more time)! Normally, I can tolerate indecisiveness, but it's a bit more difficult to put up with if I have to stand there like an idiot while food for my OTHER tables are sitting there, getting cold and gross!

-> Look around you! If you see that I'm also serving 5-7 other tables, don't get pissed off that I'm not hanging around YOUR table tending to YOUR every petty need! There are other people I have to serve as well (and some of them arrived BEFORE you!). Don't hollar out to me, stare, or glare when I'm busy with another table! I WILL GET TO YOU, it just won't be every fucking minute!

-> After looking around you, when you realize that the dining room is full, it means your food might take a while, perhaps *gasp* more that 10-15 minutes! And especially if I inform you that things may take while, don't get pissy with me because it actually did. You could have just left when I told you how long it would take!

-> If you don't get your food as soon as YOU THINK you should, don't come up to the kitchen hollering, or looking psychotically, at the servers, cooks, and managers! We assume you wouldn't want your food uncooked/halfcooked so yeah, it takes some significant time to cook your fucking food thoroughly. So fuck off and sit down!

-> Say THANK YOU! It doesn't matter how large or small the favour was. This does not apply to the understanding and wonderful customers I have served, just to the dumb, self-absorbed fuckheads.

---Hard-working Server