Love+the+Way+We+Bitch

Archives | RSS

Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

Submit a Bitch

Pin It
Favourite

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Honestly, who thought Crocs were a good idea?

Posted on Wed, Feb 11, 2009 at 12:30 PM

I can see the future. Summer, 2009. I'm at the beach. Out of nowhere, I catch a glimpse of something big and red, and am quite certain that Ronald McDonald has arrived for a day at the beach. Because who, but a humanoid clown would be interested in strutting publicly in orange foam clogs?

The answer is the most depressing fashion trend of recent memories....Crocs The giant red shoes in question are being worn by a 50-something-year-old father figure. Who can be shocked when his kids tag along behind him in Crocs of their own, each one a different shade of pastel colouring.

For those who have had the good fortune to miss them, Crocs are the foam shoes that resemble the clogs my sister wore in fifth grade, cross-bred with an Ikea cheese grater. Much like William Shatner, sunburns and the common cold, I can't get away from them. People wear them at the beach, to the convenience store, and in restaurants (shouldn't there be rules against that?). Shop for milk, and there are Crocs for sale at Sobeys. Look for a birthday card for your grandma, and there are more Crocs selling at the Hallmark store next to the over scented lavender candles. I'm shocked that people are eagerly paying $35 to enrobe their feet in Crocs when they could be spending their money on more aesthetically pleasing fashion options, such as the spandex sold in the back of Parade magazine. Fuck.

Nurses, sous chefs, gardeners, children under the age of 8 and anyone with a government employee ID are apparently fine to wear Crocs. The company sold 6 million pairs last year -- that's a lot of commoners running around looking silly. Normally I'm Teflon to these fashion trends. But Crocs have stirred a rare emotion inside me, the same feeling I experience when I see people wearing sweat pants in the grocery store, punks in wife beaters or those emo kids who look like they cut their own hair.

I understand they're comfortable, but hell, I'm comfortable sitting at my computer in boxers, eating frozen dinners, reeking of last nights beer. It doesn't make it acceptable.

---Yoda!

Support The Coast

At a time when the city needs local coverage more than ever, we’re asking for your help to support independent journalism. We are committed as always to providing free access to readers, particularly as we confront the impact of COVID-19 in Halifax and beyond.

Read more about the work we do here, or consider making a donation. Thank you for your support!

Latest in Love the Way We Bitch

Comments (15)

Showing 1-15 of 15

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-15 of 15

Add a comment

Remember, it's entirely possible to disagree without spiralling into a thread of negativity and personal attacks. We have the right to remove (and you have the right to report) any comments that go against our policy.

© 2021 Coast Publishing Ltd.