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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Bouncers who think they are GOD!

Posted on Tue, Feb 10, 2009 at 4:18 PM

Every bouncer I have ever encountered at a bar or club is a complete fuck tard. For some reason they think they are at the pinnacle of human existence. It’s like working the door at a club is something I should want to be doing. Bouncers need to stop acting like they are movie stars and realize that they work a shitty job like the rest of us. After all, bouncers are the sober dumbasses sitting outside while everyone is having a drunken good time inside.

Most bouncers are 35 years old, overweight and work at bars or clubs where the predominant age is 21-23. Your weight is the only reason you got hired in the first place. Physically nobody wants to fuck with you because you could smother a small family in your fat folds.

When I was at a club a few weeks ago while standing in line, a stereotypical Down Syndrome bouncer plowed into me while my back was turned and yelled at me to “Move! We got VIP’s coming through! Front of the line!!!” I turn to see a bunch of 16-year-old girls tiptoeing to the front door. I want to say to him, “Look man, those girls are not going to have sex with you. A thought of you will not enter their minds once they are inside. They are USING you!” Bouncers don’t seem to get that simple fact. Nobody likes you; you are being used to get inside the establishment. Everyone has a friend of a friend who knows a bouncer so they get into certain places. We are all nice to you for that split second of interaction, and then I want to end my own life for doing so. You aren’t worth the chair that is straining to hold you off the ground.

I have absolutely no respect for bouncers. Writing this makes me feel sorry for all of them

I need a beer.

---Yoda!

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