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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

updated my resume

Hey guys, Do me a favor and check out my revised cover letter and let me know what you think. Im having a hard time finding work.To Whom it may concern,My name is Mike. I am a man that really needs a job. I know my resume is shitty but Im an awesome

Posted on Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 12:40 PM

Hey guys, Do me a favor and check out my revised cover letter and let me know what you think. Im having a hard time finding work.

To Whom it may concern,

My name is Mike. I am a man that really needs a job. I know my resume is shitty but Im an awesome guy. Once you have me youll never want to let me go. Im adorable, like a puppy. I dont know whos dick you gotta suck to get a decent job in this city but I thought to let you know that I have three-plus years experience in being an excellent cocksucker.

Some of my previous experience includes working with a small group over the internet to crack the divinchi code. This was mostly a volunteer position. We came close, but mostly just lost interest after Tom Hanks made a shitty movie about it. I've also worked with NASA, through their summer space-camp program , which I attend yearly. If you asked either of these organizations about me, they would tell you that Im incredible. And I make a colossal s'more.

Below is my resume which further explains my background and work history. Please give me a chance at this opportunity, or I will walk into your building, with dynamite and anthrax. I will also bring in a live animal, maybe a bear, and after duct-taping your entire staff to their chairs, I will place pork chops over their pelvic areas, Bears love a good pork chop. Please don't invite me in on the premise of some joke you would like to carry on with your co-workers. Thank you for reviewing my resume and I will look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Mike

Cover letter

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