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Monday, May 5, 2008

Suckway, Eat Shit!

To a certain internationally renown submarine sandwich franchise on the corner of Robie and Spring Garden: your employees fucking suck ass. Here are some guidelines to improve your customer service to the quality rightfully deserved by the public.1. Tea

Posted on Mon, May 5, 2008 at 10:12 AM

To a certain internationally renown submarine sandwich franchise on the corner of Robie and Spring Garden: your employees fucking suck ass. Here are some guidelines to improve your customer service to the quality rightfully deserved by the public.

1. Teach your employees to make eye contact with the customer.

2. Also, it wouldn't hurt to train them to speak. Just sayin'.

3. Ensure they are familiar with the art of listening. It doesn't matter if my gf is the only one in town who doesn't want lettuce! What matters is that she did not ask for it!

4. Show them how to wrap a wrap. There should be a visible distinction between your wraps and salads.

5. Keep them from mixing unidentifiable and hairy substances into your cookies (another horrific instance experienced by my gf at your establishment).

And finally, remind them that most of us out there are working just as shitty a job as they are and that when we hand them our hard earned cash in exchange for a decent sandwich we deserve a little fucking respect.

Enraged and Disgusted Customer

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