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The Fault in Our Stars 

Clear out those tear ducts all at once

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The Fault in Our Stars, based on the wildly successful novel that is so adept at existing it had a perfectly timed placement in the new season of Orange is the New Black last weekend, is a maddening melodrama in the Sad Teen Death Movie genre. Hazel (Shailene Woodley) has terminal cancer. Gus (Ansel Elgort) beat his. They fall in love. They go to Amsterdam for a minute. Cancer wins. The end. But far be it from this jaded cynic to stand in the way of this earnest, ridiculous, sad movie and the teenage girls who have voted en masse with their box office dollars. Why should you care that Gus is charming (but not cute) and fun, yet speaks in Facebook statuses? Why should you be offended when Hazel and Gus make out for the first time in Anne Frank’s attic and receive a round of applause? Why does it matter that you’re going in to, effectively, watch the Titanic sink again? Woodley is one of our most interesting young actors—even though her post-Spectacular Now material has been subpar, this included—and they’re great together. Even if you don’t believe it for a second (nope), you’re going to cry.

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