) iteration of Alexandre Dumas’ classic novel. It does a good job pretending it’s part of the Pirates
franchise---befuddled plot, sword fights and Orlando Bloom included---only in Louis XIII’s France. Dumas’ characters are unchanged in name, including musketeers, Porthos (Ray Stevenson), Athos (Matthew Macfadyen), Aramis (Luke Evans), aspiring musketeer D’Artagnon (Logan Lerman) and Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich). The evil cardinal and his crony, Christoph Waltz and Mads Mikkelsen, are wasted talent. The story is altered; the addition of giant war machines (cannon-laden boats with hot air balloons for masts), a secret Leonardo da Vinci design, added for the sake of explosions. Musketeers
tries to sustain itself for a while, mediocre wit and all, but spirals out of control.
Once upon a time, we didn’t need CGI to be lured into theatres. It’s now a staple of any action flick, including Paul W.S. Anderson’s (