"I don't understand." According to Ben Linus, these were John Locke's last words before he choked him to death. Johnny boy, you're not alone. Confusion reigns off the island too, no thanks to the crazed fan theories and a nine-month hiatus. Luckily, the two-hour premiere (probably only one hour with the endless commercial breaks), offered a few more concrete answers along with the usual labyrinth of parallel worlds, time travel and macho posturing. Locke's body was taken over by the Man in Black, also the Smoke Monster (yes, I realize this sounds stupid). Sayid is dead, but all bets are on him coming back as Jacob, which hopefully means a muscle-bound punch-out in our future. Event TV at its funnest.