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How to pick up, or put off, a sailor 

Tips from exotic dancers and a female sailor on dealing with horny seamen

Lock up your sons and daughters! Having been cooped for months at sea, the thousands of sailors in port this week will most assuredly be on the prowl, and who could blame them? For some landlubber locals, picking up a sailor from a faraway country may sound exciting. But for others, the extra dosage of pick-up lines from horny sailors at downtown bars may be incentive to hide at home.

To assist those who fall into the latter category, I asked some experts in dealing with randy sailors for some deflection techniques. I picked the brain of a travelling exotic dancer, who's stage name is Kika. Her home base is Halifax, but she worked for some time at G-Spot, an adult entertainment club near a US naval base in Guam.

"Most of them came in looking for sex, so it was usually just an angry interaction of them asking 'How much?' and me saying, 'Dude, I don't do that,'" she recalls. She proposes that ladies wanting to turn off a sailor in a hurry try an anti-pick-up line. She suggests: "If we had a baby, you wouldn't have to go away again," or "I like the army best."

Another tactic: Outfits that remind sailors of being on duty at sea. Try wearing sailor suits, fishing tackle jewellery and lobster-nets as shawls. An ex-US navy sailor developed unique deflection strategies of her own, after being stuck for months at sea with hoards of horny sailors. "I wore a $2 fake wedding ring; I eschewed jeans/tees from Target that were two sizes too small and intended to feature muffin tops; I tried not to make eye contact," she explains bluntly.

Stephanie Von Hotbottom, an exotic dancer who's worked all over Canada, suggests a slightly crueler approach for rude or overly aggressive flirts. "When guys are being dicks, I make them fall in love with me," she says. "You play with them just enough to make them want you," then damage their egos when you turn them down and strut away.

Being empathetic, but firm can also work. "I would sympathise with the fact that they're lonely because they just got off the ship," says Kika. "Show empathy and align yourself as an ally to try to help them get laid, just let them know that it's not going to happen with you."

Unless of course you want it to. Her advice then? "All you have to do is look at them!"

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