Remarks: This fence appeared on the wrong side of the bus stop as crews prepare for demolition of the former Queen Elizabeth High School. The bus stop belongs to Metro Transit, but the land under the school will be in Capital Health. In the meanwhile, though, the property is in the hands of the Department of Transportation and Infrastructure Renewal, which has hired a contractor... as of press time, phone calls and emails were zipping this way and that, but still no answer.

Remarks: People are reporting lots of the "fix me" white painted cracks, some of which have been this way for months. But this is actually a good news story, says MacKinlay, the city's PR person. Recently the city has acquired some new machinery and so has stepped up the crack repair schedule, which includes a lot of inspectors driving around looking for cracks to fix. Four hundred slabs have been fixed, and 2,000 more are scheduled, says MacKinlay.

Who's responsible?
Laura Crouse, 461-4698.

Remarks:
"We just noticed they were missing," says Crouse in response to a reader's query about the missing equipment. Crouse, sounding rather exasperated, says the gear will be back up again within a week, but "we'll put them out, and they'll get stolen again... they're not cheap." Hey, whatever knucklehead is taking the stuff: wise up! The stuff's there for a reason.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca, or call 422-6278 ext. 113.

What’s wrong?
Missing signs on the boardwalk.

Who’s responsible?
Kelly Rose, Waterfront Development Corp., 422-6591.

Remarks
A reader sends in this picture of one of the blue directional signs on the waterfront, commenting that “they have all been removed now that the cruise ships and tourists are here.” Rose says that the signs are being updated and temporary signs have been installed on the blue pedestals, but those are apparently becoming souvenirs. The new signs should be up mid-June, she says..

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca, or call 422-6278 ext. 113.

What’s wrong?
Collapsing stone pillar, St. Matthew’s United Church.

Who’s responsible?
Dora McGrath, 423-9209.

Remarks
Reader Ronwyn Damora sent this photo of the collapsing stone work at the foot of Spring Garden Road, between the church and the Maritime Centre. McGrath said it started collapsing about a week ago. The church operates on a shoestring budget, and is trying to figure out how to pay to get the stone work fixed. If anyone has the expertise to offer up, please give her a call.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca, or call 422-6278 ext. 113.

What's wrong?

Storm damage at Terrence Bay lighthouse.

Who's responsible?

Chris Mills, Nova Scotia Lighthouse Preservation Society.

REMARKS

A reader sent this photo of the torn-up lighthouse. The lighthouse preservation people tell us this jewel is often the victim of surging seas, and in past years the Coast Guard, which still maintains the structure, has been pretty good about getting it repaired. People are notified, and somehow the strange beast of Coast Guard procurement will once again rise to the task, or so everyone thinks.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca

What's wrong?

Lots of garbage in Hemlock Ravine park.

Who's responsible?

Steve Rice, HRM's supervisor of major parks, 490-1903.

REMARKS

Reader Sarah Dawson alerted us to this trash-strewn stretch of park behind two apartment complexes on Lodge Drive. The garbage runs all the way down the ravine and collects in the creek below, says Dawson: "It's gross, unsightly and definitely needs to be cleaned up." Rice wasn't aware of the problem, obviously years in the making, but left to deal with the issue as soon as we alerted him.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca.

What's wrong?
Christmas tree lights still on Bishop's Landing fountain.

Who's responsible?
Scott Layton, manager of Bishop's Landing, 423-7527.

REMARKS

A reader tweeted us this photo Saturday, as Hali temps topped 20 degrees, when a hot, fountain-worthy summer seemed imminent. Well, you'll have to wait a bit longer, says Layton. The Christmas lights were kept up for Winterfest, but "why not kill two birds with one stone?" asks Layton, and take down the Xmas lights in mid-April, when he has to rent a cherry picker to wash BL windows.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca.

What's wrong?
Missing pedestrian light, Isleville and Young streets.

Who's responsible?
Vaughn Perrin, HRM traffic analyst, crosswalks, 490-4822.

REMARKS

A reader tips us to this crosswalk: there's a helpful push-button for pedestrians but, very unhelpfully, the button isn't attached to an actual light. Perrin says the light was taken out when one of the poles was removed to facilitate construction of the new condo building at the corner. Supposedly, the light will return, but construction is taking longer than anticipated.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca.

What’s wrong?
Iced-up bus shelter in front of Empire Bayers Lake.

Who’s responsible?
Lissette Cormier, Metro Transit, 477-6599.

REMARKS
“Every year at this time, there’s half-assed or even no snow cleanup around bus stops and shelters in the BLIP,” writes reader Evan Morris. “Snow and ice are allowed to build up at the curb around the bus stop forming an ice shelf that won’t disappear until April.” We called Cormier Monday noon; by the end of the day the shelter was cleared, with the promise of special attention given to it in the future.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca.

What’s wrong?
Asphalt sidewalk replacements don’t measure up.

Who’s responsible?
Bryan Robarts, Right of Way department, 490-4000.

REMARKS
In early fall, the laying of natural gas pipe cut up the corner of Coburg and Oxford, which was patched with asphalt. Local residents fear that the concrete sidewalk won’t be replaced properly. Robarts insists work will re-start in the spring: After October 15, it’s city policy to replace concrete with asphalt until the weather warms. But it begs the question: Why can’t pipe-laying be better timed for reconstruction done right? —Mike Gorman

What’s wrong?
No “stop” hand at Cunard crosswalk.

Who’s responsible?
Ken Reashor, god of traffic, 490-6637.

REMARKS
Should you cross? Should you stop? Should you proceed with caution? Who can tell? The hand on the crosswalk light at the intersection of Cunard and North Park streets won’t be of any help, since it doesn’t flash or light up. Reashor is out of the office until next week. In the meanwhile, you have only the little glowing man to guide you, so adjust your street-crossing speed accordingly.

What's wrong?
Three itty bitty lanes on Robie Street.

Who's responsible?
Ken Reashor, god of traffic, 490-6637.

REMARKS
Robie is a problem from one end to the other, with too-narrow lanes and unpredictable intersections. Here at South Street, buses spill awkwardly into adjoining lanes. Reashor says a third lane allows traffic to flow more smoothly. Listen, Kenny: having more lanes doesn't magically create more space. How 'bout we use fewer lanes and more buses? -Jonny Linds

click to enlarge

What’s wrong?
Half-missing NSLC sign, Quinpool Road.

Who’s responsible?
Rick Perkins, NSLC spokesperson.

REMARKS
In an ironic case of biting the hand that feeds, some drunk evidently tore the top half off this sign. Now how’re ya gonna know where to go to get the fuel for your next vandalism spree, wise guy? Perkins says a temporary sign will go up until a new one arrives mid-December.

What’s wrong?
Bike-unfriendly barriers, Dartmouth waterfront trail.

REMARKS
The new “chicanes” were required by CN, says Drisdelle, because travelling through them requires facing one direction, then the opposite, so that it’s almost impossible to not see that one train a day rolling at five km/hr down the tracks. And yes, they were specifically designed to force bikers to dismount.

Send your favourite municipal malfunction to onpatrol@thecoast.ca, or call 422-6278 ext. 113. To follow up on past problems, click on thecoast.ca.