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Thursday, April 3, 2014

March Madness Day 12: OpenFile vs. Al Jazeera & Live at 5 vs. Coffee News

Where the elite (eight) meet and compete in a heat until someone greets St. Pete

Posted By on Thu, Apr 3, 2014 at 9:42 AM


What glorious mirage is this? A fun, light-hearted poll to greet your Thursday morning coffee-and-waste-time-until-boss-walks-by-desk ritual? You're not dreaming, sister. We're rolling along with March Madness and doing little else until this thing is through. Old media battle new media in a disturbingly grisly fight until a final winner is crowned. So mote it be.

Here's a complete bracket that will take you 0.001 seconds to look at.

click to enlarge thecoast-marchmadness2.jpg

Before we get to the super satisfying click the poll and see the winner inch forward part, let's discuss yesterday. On the new media side, Reddit was ever so slightly downvoted by NYT.com, who took the crown with their slick layout and video content.

Old media had me jumping out of my chair and waving my TOWN CRIER #1 foam finger as DJ Tricorne completely handed 60 Minutes' its ass. LET'S DO THIS, TOWN CRIER. All the way to the top!

Today another similar (secular) David and Goliath match is taking place. OpenFile is our scrappy underdog, giving itself a shaky pep talk in the locker room before facing the mighty Al Jazeera. I'll be watching this through my fingers.

I don't know if you've yet recovered over the Coffee News beating the Globe & Mail, but it happened so pass the smelling salts. Now Coffee News is putting on the foil for today's match with Live at 5. We greatly underestimated Coffee News. Coffee News had never been given a chance before and now it has something to prove. Coffee News is like Mankind, Al Snow and George "The Animal" Steele all mixed together in one sadistic package. Coffee News carves a bit of trivia into its thigh after every successful battle. Coffee News sits the locker room for hours, rocking back and forth and repeating the name of its opponent. Coffee News is coming for you. LOOK AT THIS FACE:

click to enlarge mr-smile1.jpg

You can't see it, but Coffee News is standing ankle-deep in puddle of the blood and steaming entrails of its enemies.

I don't care if Starr Dobson is on your side or if she's cowering under a table, I'd be pissing myself right about now, Live at 5.

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